Blawker

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Grab Your Sweetie Pie

It seems like the whole town is in a frenzy due to the upcoming Sweetie Pie Dance. Surprisingly, it’s not just those who don’t have sweetie pies that are freaking out. I suppose this is an important night for everyone. After all, the dance is always extremely romantic. Like the Atlanta Bazaar inGone with the Wind. It’s often a chance to reignite a spark that might have gone out between certain lovers. But really let’s be serious, who actually cares about boring, old couples that have been together for years? Not yours truly! Instead, I care about who’s bringing someone new, someone surprising, someone out of the box. I’ll be around BlueBell the next few days trying to get the scoop on who’s going with who. But like usual, if you hear anything, please alert the Blawker ASAP.

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Memory Matron Shocker!

Like Juliette Binoche beating Lauren Bacall for Best Supporting Actress in 1997, the choosing of Memory Matron turned out to be quite the upset. Everyone expected Lemon Breeland to be given the title since she is the top Belle in BlueBell. However, Delia Ann Lee went in a different direction. She picked AnnaBeth Nass to succeed her. I know, SHOCKER! It was quite a surprise for everyone in attendance. Although, no two people were more stunned than AnnaBeth and Lemon. I’m sure AnnaBeth never thought in a million years she’d be chosen as MM. And over Lemon, no less! This must be quite awkward for the BFF’s. I hope they don’t let the title get in the way of their friendship. Yet if they do, it could be good for this blog…

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What’s Up, Doc?

Is it just me or has Zoe Hart been acting strangely recently? She’s been seen all around BlueBell in a great mood. Constantly upbeat and, dare I say it, actually happy? It’s like the doctor woke up one morning and decided to no longer be the uptight NYer we all know her as and rather, become a ray of perky sunshine. The skeptic in me thinks something’s up. But then another part of me’s like “You go, Zoe! Glad to see you making the most out of life.” Maybe the girl finally realized how fabulous she truly is and decided to embrace it. Because seriously, If I had legs like hers, I’d always be that full of glee.

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That Darn Dog!

CarrieAnne Ennis’ dog Biscuit once again got loose from his house and ran through the streets of BlueBell like some kind of wild animal. This is the third time in two weeks that this has happened. Each time the dog was unhurt and returned to CarrieAnne quickly. Thank goodness! CarrieAnne needs to learn to keep her dog inside and on a leash. It’s called being responsible and training. I swear they’ll give just about anyone a pet. Yet since this has happened so frequently I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps Biscuit is trying to runaway from home on purpose.

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Crazy Earl Being Crazy

Another day, another Crazy Earl escapade. That man came into the Rammer Jammer the other night so drunk I think if a match had been lit within 20 feet of him, he’d have blown up the joint. Of course, when Crazy Earl’s so belligerent only Wade can deal with him. The good son talked his daddy off the bar. Literally. You see, Crazy Earl had climbed up on it and was pretending he was Piper Perabo or something. Wade got his father down and took him straight home for what I’m sure was a long, cold shower and lots of coffee. I know Wade has the reputation of being a bit of a cad, but I think deep down he’s a good boy. And without a doubt a terrific son.

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Blind Item

What “well-credited” BlueBellian family man recently had his driver’s license revoked? It wasn’t because of a DUI or a careless accident that caused this “mischarge.” No, it was because he owed the city of BlueBell over $1,000 in unpaid parking tickets. “Saving” himself from this mess might require a “loan” or two. People, if you don’t pay your tickets, you will get caught. You can bank on that.

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Spotted

Spotted: Shula Whitaker buying arts and crafts at The Yarn Barn. She said they were for a costume for her cat, Prince Purrfection. George Tucker and Lemon Breeland having a romantic dinner at Fancie’s. He ordered the chicken, she had the halibut. Reverend and Beverly Mayfair collecting donations of winter clothing outside the church. Those two are truly Godsends.

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BlueBell to Get First Lady Soon?

Yes, it’s a bit presumptuous to even imply the girl Mayor Lavon Hayes is casually dating could one day be the First Lady of BlueBell. But that being said, I think it’s high time time  our lovely little town’s mayor had some love in his life. I can’t even remember the last time he was dating anyone of substance. Can you? Mayor Hayes is a great man but every man needs a great woman by his side. Didi Ruano might not be the ideal First Lady. Yet. I definitely think there’s room for her to grow into the job. You can be sure Blawker will be keeping you updated on the blossoming romance between our favorite mayor and his new gal pal.

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Deb-Hazing

Poor Zoe Hart. She’s in the process of trying to become a Belle after learning she’s a legacy. But sadly for the new girl in town, joining the Belles is not an easy feat. Especially when they’re lead with an iron fist thanks to Lemon Breeland. We all know how serious Lemon takes the Belles. Surely you wouldn’t expect her to just let some Daisy Dukes wearing, Cosmo girl walk in off the street and become a Belle now would you? Of course not! Lemon and her BFFs are giving Zoe a workout. It’s actually quite entertaining. Let’s see how long the doc can stick it out for. Did someone say honey?

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Town Hall Happenings

Last night’s town hall meeting was pretty snooze-worthy. There were some insipid concerns brought up that will never after last night be talked about ever again. And thank God for that. Creating a turtle run in Harrigan’s Park? Sometimes I question the sanity of certain people in this town. However, it is interesting to note who showed up with who. And who came solo. Frenemies Betsy Hargrove and Maribeth Donaldson attended the meeting together looking all chummy. Yet we all know about their constant competition about whose lawn is greener. But for some reason these two can’t seem to stay apart from one another. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, I suppose. Oscar Balderrama was there. Without his wife Patty. He said she was “feeling under the weather.” Although I have it on good authority that the two were seen fighting at the Dixie Stop a fortnight ago. Trouble on the farm? Also there were newlyweds Sara Jane and Mitchell White in their first public appearance since their wedding. The couple that attends town meetings together stays together? Sure.